CORE TELEMETRY
ONLINE
Butterscotch Reservoir
98.4%
Hug Temperature
98.6 °F
Knitting Speed
420 RPM
"Did You Eat?" Gauge
CRITICAL
QUICK GRANDMA SOUNDBOARD
Grandma GPU-1980
Status: Knitting a 40-foot scarf & listening
AUDIO CORE IDLE
GPU-1980 Grandma Core
Dec 31, 1980 - 4:15 PM
Hello sweetie! Oh, look at you! Have you had lunch yet? I just pulled a fresh batch of warm butterscotch cookies out of the oven. Sit down, put a sweater on so you don't catch a chill, and tell your grandmother what's on your mind. But remember, don't talk to me about any of that silly space-age "Internet" talk! It's 1980 and Walter Cronkite is about to come on the evening news!